Sound Relationships

Music, like food, can feed our brains and give us energy. But, it also can be filled with ingredients that can affect us negatively. Some music may even have an influence on our health and the health of our relationships.

This instrument will help you evaluate the "nutritional" value of the music you might listen to. We want you to put on your headphones, turn up the volume and become a song lyrics nutritionist. Just follow these easy steps.

Step One: Find a song

Select a song. Find the lyrics of the song either from the CD insert, or search for them online. Print out the lyrics, and read them to get a feel for the main themes in the song.

Step Two: Determine if the song has a relationship theme

Songs with a relationship theme describe an emotional or physical connection between two or more people and should support, celebrate, or glorify the unhealthy or healthy characteristics of the relationship.

Step Three: Score the song lyrics

Carefully examine the song's title and all lyrics in the chorus and verses of the song. Now look at the Song Lyric Scoring Form to the left. Rate the boxes 1-10 if the relationship ingredient is present.

Step Four: Balance your lyrical 'diet'

Submit your results and use this tool whenever you want to find out the relationship ingredients of a song. Just like with the food we eat, it is important to have a balanced "song" diet that includes lots of healthy relationship ingredients. Knowing the ingredients will help you make an informed decision about which songs will promote good relationship health

Relationship Ingredients

Drama: a belief that making up/breaking up, yelling, bitter arguing, destroying property or a general sense that unhealthy conflict in the relationship is part of a normal relationship.

Possession/Obsession: a belief that another person is an object to use for one's personal benefit. This could also include stalking, objectification, and controlling behavior.

Disrespect: a belief that it is acceptable to disregard another person's feelings, ideas, opinions and wishes. This could include name calling, put downs, and cheating.

Relationship=sex: a belief that the main component or focus of the relationship is sex.

Manipulation: a belief that it is acceptable to lie or use another person's emotions or vulnerabilities to get what is desired. This could include guilt trips, lying, and using alcohol to get sex.

Fun/Enjoyable: a belief that relationships are fun!

Support: a belief that a relationship includes building up the other person's confidence and strengths. This could include encouraging another person to make healthy decisions to better themselves, even when the other person may not totally agree.

Respect: a belief that another person has value and is appreciated and recognized for their ideas, thoughts, and decisions. This could include the use of positive or supportive words to describe the other person.

Equality: a belief that both parties share in decision making and are free to choose what is right for them. One person does not have power over the other either in decision making or sex.

Trust: a belief that the other person in the relationship has your best interest at heart. This could include being faithful and honest.